And Now for Something Completely Different

Speaking of the mud and the blood and the tears, here is the immortal Johnny Cash performing ‘A Boy Named Sue’ live at San Quentin State Prison in 1969. Interestingly, the song was written by children’s author Shel Silverstein.

Previously…
11/21: Leonard Nimoy singing the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins on Malibu U, July 28, 1967
11/14:
Fascinating optical illusions in people photographs
11/07:
Most apropos for Halloween… ExtremePumpkins.com
10/31: Hysterically bad ‘Questionable Impressions’ from Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10/24:
Funniest Frank Caliendo impersonation of John Madden from MadTV
10/17: Kevin Pollack’s Shatner, Falk and Walken impressions on Late Show
10/10: Shatner sings at 2005 AFI Life Achievement Award: Tribute to George Lucas
10/03: A final Nazi reference courtesy of Ricky Gervais, creator of The Office and Extras
09/26: German dictator roasts Don Rickles on Dean Martin Celebrity Roast
09/19: Carol Channing and Nazis hawking dessert products. I kid you not.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 28, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

‘John Madden’ Wayback Machine: 10,000 Yard Club

Week 12 began with Atlanta Falcons’ running back Warrick Dunn becoming just the 21st player to rush for over 10,000 yards in a career, joining Jackonsville Jaguars’ Fred Taylor who entered this exclusive club in Week 10. Not to be outdone, LaDainian Tomlinson became the fourth fastest to crack 10,000 yards on Sunday, behind only Eric Dickerson, Jim Brown and Barry Sanders.

The 10,000-Yard Club:
1) Emmitt Smith (1990-2004): 18,355 yards, Cowboys/Cardinals. The engine behind three Cowboys’ championships.
2) Walter Payton (1975-1987): 16,726 yards, Bears. Sweetness.
3) Barry Sanders (1989-1998): 15,269 yards, Lions. Unbelievable runner. A sheer joy to watch.
4) Curtis Martin (1995-2005): 14,101 yards, Patriots/Jets. Parcells’ favorite running back.
5) Jerome Bettis (1993-2005): 13,662 yards, Rams/Steelers. The Bus.
6) Eric Dickerson (1983-1993): 13,259 yards, Rams/Colts/Raiders/Falcons. Phenomenal running back overshadowed by multiple contract disputes.
7) Tony Dorsett (1977-1988): 12,739 yards, Cowboys/Broncos. Win a national championship and a Super Bowl and you are allowed to be called Tony Dor-SETT.
8) Jim Brown (1957-1965): 12,312 yards, Browns. Probably the greatest running back of all time.
9) Marshall Faulk (1994-2005): 12,279 yards, Colts/Rams. The featured back of ‘The Greatest Show on Turf.’
10) Marcus Allen (1982-1997): 12,243 yards, Raiders/Chiefs. Numbers would have been even better if not for the feud with Al Davis.
11) Franco Harris (1972-1984): 12,120 yards, Steelers/Seahawks. Almost lured Jim Brown out of retirement.
12) Thurman Thomas (1988-2000): 12,074 yards, Bills/Dolphins. Hall-of-Famer will forever be remembered for losing his helmet in the Super Bowl.
13) John Riggins (1971-1985): 11,352 yards, Jets/Redskins. Hall-of-Famer who will forever be remembered for his game-winning 43-yard touchdown run in Super Bowl XVII and his drunken quip to Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (‘Come on, Sandy Baby, loosen up. You’re too uptight!’).
14) Corey Dillon (1997-2006): 11,241 yards, Bengals/Patriots. Almost returned to the Patriots mid-season this year.
15) O.J. Simpson (1969-1979): 11,236 yards, Bills/Rams. Great running back. Not such a great husband.
16) Edgerrin James (1999-Present): 11,193 yards, Colts/Cardinals. Leading active rusher.
17) Ricky Watters (1992-2001): 10,643 yards, 49ers/Eagles/Seahawks. Nasty, nasty runner.
18) Tiki Barber (1997-2006): 10,449 yards, Giants. Remembered more for his smirk than his running accomplishments.
19) Eddie George (1996-2004): 10,441 yards, Titans/Cowboys. Talk about a career that ended overnight.
20) Ottis Anderson (1979-1992): 10,273 yards, Cardinals/Giants. Super Bowl XXV hero.
21) Fred Taylor (1998-Present): 10,221 yards, Jaguars. Achievements have largely been under the radar.
22) LaDainian Tomlinson (2001-Present): 10,048 yards, Chargers. Could end up at the top of the list by the end of his career.
23) Warrick Dunn (1997-Present): 10,044 yards, Buccaneers/Falcons. Nice accomplishment. Too bad he did it the same weekend as LT.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 28, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

Fourth and Long: Mud and the Blood and the Beer

One of the biggest challenges in writing a weekly pro football column is that you usually don’t know what you’re going to write about until the Sunday games play out. And sometimes you have to wait for the Monday night game as well. But this week, short of the Dolphins beating the Steelers in the mud and the blood and the beer, it didn’t look like I was going to have to wait that long.On Thursday after the Packers and Cowboys won to improve to 10-1 respectively and set up a homefield-advantage showdown in Dallas, I figured I would write about their impending matchup. Favre vs. Romo. The crafty veteran vs. the young gunslinger.

On Sunday afternoon, the Jaguars dismantled the Bills to set up an intriguing, but largely ignored AFC South divisional showdown between the wounded defending champion Indianapolis Colts and the young, hard-nosed Jacksonville Jaguars.

And after backup Eagles’ QB A.J. Feeley got picked off on the third play from scrimmage by Patriots’ Asante Samuel for a touchdown on Sunday Night Football, I pretty much knew where I stood. Especially in light of Tom Brady’s response to criticisms of the Patriots running up the score. “We’re not trying to win 42-28, we’re trying to kill people, we’re trying to blow them out if we can.” And only a few minutes into the game against the Eagles, it looked like the Patriots were well on their way to another blowout.

But something funny happened midway through the first quarter Sunday night.

The Patriots weren’t killing anyone.

Shockingly, they were in a fight for their lives. And it was a joy to watch. Not because the Patriots lost. They didn’t. But because for only the second time this season, the Patriots had to show why they might be the best team in NFL history.

Suddenly Tom Brady throwing 50-yard jump balls to Randy Moss in double coverage wasn’t working. Suddenly the Patriots were forced to play possession offense, using Wes Welker to pick up crucial first downs in crunch time. And suddenly, Andy Reid emerged as the great football coach that he is, laying out the blueprint to challenge the Patriots with only a backup quarterback, a moxie that would make Philadelphia proud and some hard-hitting football.

The blueprint?

Play without fear.

Odds are you’re going to lose to the Patriots anyway. You might as well go down swinging. Take risks. Throw the dice. Even though the first-half onside kick didn’t result in any points, the Eagles proved that all bets were off.

On defense, venerable defensive coordinator Jim Johnson put together a smashmouth attack that hit hard on every play. Very hard. The cornerbacks played tight bump coverage on Randy Moss, negating him for most of the game. Numerous blitzes kept the pressure on Tom Brady who suddenly didn’t look so golden when he had to pick himself up off the turf play after play.

On offense, the Eagles effectively marched down the field by completing the short slant pattern over the middle while mixing in the run. Every time the Patriots blitzed, A.J. Feeley would lob a pass over the blitz for a first down. And while I’m not saying that Feeley is a better quarterback than Donovan McNabb, the rest of the team always seems to play a lot harder when McNabb isn’t on the field.

And what made this game all the more entertaining to watch was that the Patriots weren’t playing a team content to roll over or to watch as the score got run up. The Patriots were in a knock-down, drag’em-out dogfight that threw off their rhythm offense and actually forced dropped passes, punts and field goals.

It was as if the Eagles took a page from the Patriots playbook.

But with all that said and done, the Patriots were still at their best in the fourth quarter. Tom Brady is simply unstoppable and unflappable when playing from behind at the end of a game. And Wes Welker proved that he may be a more valuable receiver than Randy Moss especially in games like this.

As tough as the Eagles played, the Patriots calmly riposted every challenge and deserved to win this game. One only hopes that the Patriots will be challenged like this every week the rest of the way. Because if they are, then we as football fans are in for a real treat.

Sadly by Monday night, we had all heard about Redskins’ star safety Sean Taylor being shot at his Florida home by an intruder. And by Tuesday morning, when we woke to the numbing news that he had passed away overnight, suddenly the Patriots going undefeated or the Eagles developing a blueprint to beat didn’t seem quite as important anymore.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 28, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

Playoffs?!? Don’t Talk About Playoffs?!?

With apologies to Jim Mora, it’s never too early to talk playoffs…

AFC Playoff Seeds
1) New England Patriots (11-0): The Patriots survive a surprisingly tough challenge from the Eagles and clinch the AFC East.
2) Indianapolis Colts (9-2): Offense is starting to get back on track, but are they healthy enough to beat back the young and hungry Jaguars?
2) Pittsburgh Steelers (8-3): Ugly mud-bowl victory over the Dolphins.
4) San Diego Chargers (6-5): Chargers have to be happy they are playing in the AFC West.
5) Jacksonville Jaguars (8-3): Another hard-nosed win. Huge showdown with the Colts up next.
6) Cleveland Browns (7-4): Who would have thought after such a horrendous opener that the Browns would be all alone in the final playoff spot.
Still in the hunt: Tennessee Titans (6-5) and Denver Broncos (5-6).

NFC Playoff Seeds
1) Dallas Cowboys (10-1):
No slipups against the Jets. Thursday’s game against the Packers should be for homefield advantage in the NFC.
2) Green Bay Packers (10-1): Don’t be surprised if the Packers pull it out in Dallas.
3) Seattle Seahawks (7-4): The Seahawks did not deserve to beat the Rams, but with the Cardinals loss, they may have sewn up the NFC West.
4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-4): Gutsy win without any of their starters in the backfield.
5) New York Giants (7-4): Embarrassing loss at home against the Vikings. But if the rest of the NFC wild card contenders continue to collapse, it might not cost them in the end.
6) Detroit Lions (6-5): Three losses in a row. Lions are close to being done this year.
Still in the hunt: New Orleans Saints (5-6), Arizona Cardinals (5-6), Minnesota Vikings (5-6), Washington Redskins (5-6), Chicago Bears (5-6) and Philadelphia Eagles (5-6).

And now for the opposite side of the spectrum…

Battle for Darren McFadden (or Colt Brennan or Whoever the #1 Pick Will Be)

#1 - Miami Dolphins (0-11): Shockingly, the Dolphins are eliminated from the playoff hunt before their sixth three-point loss of the season.
#2 - New York Jets (2-9): After beating the Steelers, the Jets fall hard to the Cowboys.
#3 - St. Louis Rams (2-9): Gus Frerotte fumbles away a win over the Seahawks.
#4 - San Francisco 49ers (3-8): The football gods smiled on the 49ers as Neil Rackers missed a 32-yard field goal in OT after a delay of game penalty negated a game-winning 27-yard field goal.
#5 - Oakland Raiders (3-8): First division win after 17 losses.
#6 - Atlanta Falcons (3-8): A good first quarter isn’t enough to beat the ailing Colts.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 28, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

‘Larry King’ Ramblings

You have to be impressed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this year. At 7-4 and first-place in the NFC South, they are finding ways to win games even without their starting backfield. Games that they would have lost last year. Most have forgotten that the Bucs were supposed to be playing this season with fullback Mike Alstott (lost to probable career-ending injury during the preseason) and RB Cadillac Williams (lost to season-ending knee injury in week 4). Yet the Buccaneers are persevering with a unending series of castoff running backs.

But when QB Jeff Garcia went down on the third play of the game against the Redskins, it looked like too much for even the resilient Buccaneers to overcome. Yet the Bucs showed their grit, forcing four turnovers in the first half to take a 19-3 halftime lead and hung on to win 19-13 with interceptions in the closing minutes. Perhaps not the kind of victories the Patriots have chalked up for most of the year, but at the end of the season when your victories are tallied up to see if you qualify for the playoffs, no one checks to see if any of your wins were ‘good’ wins. If you have more points than your opponent when the gun sounds, you take your victory and go home.

What a wild game in Arizona. Wounded Kurt Warner turned in another miraculous performance against the 49ers, completing 34 of 48 for 484 yards and two touchdowns in an apparent come-from-behind victory over the 49ers as Neil Rackers nailed a 27-yard field goal in overtime. But the Cardinals, as their karma would have it, didn’t get the kick off in time. A five-yard penalty later and Rackers missed a 32-yard field goal. And on their next series, Warner was sacked in the end zone where the 49ers recovered his fumble for a 37-31 victory.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 28, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

‘Heidi’ Chronicles: FOX NFL Sunday

Having found a Sunday evening highlight show that I like (NFL Network’s GameDay), I decided it was time to sample, in their entirety, the Sunday pregame shows on FOX, CBS and ESPN.

The first on the list has been my personal favorite for years, FOX NFL Sunday.

Sorry.

‘Built Ford Tough’ FOX NFL Sunday.

Having not watched a full pre-game show from start to finish in a while (I am a hopeless channel surfer), I was shocked at the unending segments built specifically for sponsors. Not that FOX is any different than anyone else, but the endless litany of corporate logos and sponsorships and the ease at which Curt Menefee navigates the corporate obstacle course is a little overwhelming.

But enough of that and now onto the Pizza Hut NFL Pregame Analysis of the Week brought to you by the fine folks at Football for Breakfast.

The team of Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and Jimmy Johnson is terrific to watch as they exhibit the best genuine chemistry around. But the constant cuts to sponsored segments and the recaps of Saturday’s college football games means that a surprisingly small amount of time is devoted to what they do best, their spontaneous bantering and horsing around. I was surprised to realize that Terry, Howie and Jimmy probably have more face time on the halftime and post-game shows.

As for the rest of the show, Jay Glazer might be the best in the business when it comes to scooping breaking NFL stories, but being housed in a separate studio has the odd effect of isolating him from the rest of the talking heads. And Frank Caliendo is always a lot of fun, even if he can’t pick a game to save his life.

Next week, I plan to give the CBS counterparts a full viewing. Until then, I hope you get NFL Network, otherwise you’ll miss the NFC game of the year Thursday night when the Packers visit the Cowboys.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 28, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

This Website Stinks!

A few weeks back I stated that CBS Sports featured the absolute best NFL scoreboards on the web. Well, something happen on the way to the Internet Sunday that makes me question by previous opinion.Over the weekend, the CBS Sports scoreboards were shocking slow and consistently fell behind the updates provided by the NFL.com scoreboards. At times the CBS Sports scoreboards stopped auto-updating completely just hung there as I tried to manually refresh my browser. And as I mentioned before, the continued intrusiveness of their new interstitial ads have degraded the website’s experience to such a degree that I no longer use them for game recaps on the Football for Breakfast website.

All that said, CBS Sports still boast the best scoreboards online, but only when they work. But this past weekend has demonstrated that NFL.com may end up being the best choice for getting up-to-the-minute and reliable game updates.

As alway, please let me know what you think by emailing me at DiG@FootballForBreakfast.com.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 21, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

And Now for Something Completely Different

If there was ever any doubt that the 1960s was a weird decade, look no further than Leonard Nimoy singing the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins during a guest appearance on Malibu U, July 28, 1967.

Previously…
11/14: Fascinating optical illusions in people photographs
11/07:
Most apropos for Halloween… ExtremePumpkins.com
10/31: Hysterically bad ‘Questionable Impressions’ from Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10/24:
Funniest Frank Caliendo impersonation of John Madden from MadTV
10/17: Kevin Pollack’s Shatner, Falk and Walken impressions on Late Show
10/10: Shatner sings at 2005 AFI Life Achievement Award: Tribute to George Lucas
10/03: A final Nazi reference courtesy of Ricky Gervais, creator of The Office and Extras
09/26: German dictator roasts Don Rickles on Dean Martin Celebrity Roast
09/19: Carol Channing and Nazis hawking dessert products. I kid you not.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 21, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

‘John Madden’ Wayback Machine: The Near-Perfect Seasons

The New England Patriots have notched their tenth straight win of the season and have begun to move, officially, into rarefied company. Only 16 other NFL teams have started the season 10-0, 17 if you count the old AFL days. Of those 17 teams, surprisingly only seven went on to win championships.

10-0 Starts:
-1929 Green Bay Packers ended 12-0-1 and was awarded the NFL Championship based on their record.
-1934 Detroit Lions finished with three straight losses and failed to qualify for the NFL Championship game.
-1962 Green Bay Packers closed with a 13-1 record and defeated the Giants 16-7 for the NFL Championship.
-1975 Minnesota Vikings completed the regular season 12-2 and lost in the first round of playoffs to the Dallas Cowboys 17-14 on the famous Hail Mary pass from Roger Staubach to Drew Pearson.
-1990 San Franciso 49ers achieved a 14-2 record and lost the NFC Championship to the Giants 15-13.
-1990 New York Giants went 13-3 and after beating the 49ers, defeated the Bills 20-19 in the Super Bowl XXV.

11-0 Starts:
-1942 Chicago Bears, defending champions, ended the season undefeated before losing to the Redskins 14-6 in the NFL Championship game.
-1953 Cleveland Browns finished 11-1 and lost 17-16 to the Lions in the Championship game.
-1961 San Diego Chargers (AFL) closed the season 12-2 and lost to the Houston Oilers 24-16 in the AFL Championship game.
-1969 Los Angeles Rams completed the regular season 11-3 and lost 23-20 to Vikings in first round of playoffs.
-1984 Miami Dolphins went 14-2 and, after wins over the Seahawks and the Steelers, lost to the 49ers 38-16 in Super Bowl XIX.
-1991 Washington Redskins achieved a 14-2 record and beat the Bills 37-24 in Super Bowl XXVI.

12-0 Starts:
-1985 Chicago Bears finished the regular season 15-1 and overwhelmed the Patriots 46-10 in the Super Bowl XX.

13-0 Starts:
-1934 Chicago Bears ended the regular season 13-0, but lost to the Giants 30-13 in the famous ‘Sneakers Game.’
-1998 Denver Broncos closed the season 14-2 and, after beating the Jets 23-10 in the AFC Championship, defeated the Falcons 34-19 in Super Bowl XXXIII.
-2005 Indianapolis Colts went 14-2 and lost to Steelers 21-18 in their first playoff game.

The Perfect Season
-1972 Miami Dolphins completed the regular season 14-0. After defeating the Browns at home, the Dolphins were forced to beat the Steelers on the road, before knocking off the Redskins 14-7 in Super Bowl VII to finish 17-0.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 21, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.

Fourth and Long: Any Given Sunday

Confidence.

Such a critical component of success in the NFL.

But there is a fine line between confidence and overconfidence, especially in professional football where the difference between winning and losing truly comes down to inches.

The Green Bay Packers, the youngest team in the NFL even with aged Brett Favre at the helm, is playing with a growing confidence that has elevated them from a lucky win over the Eagles in week one to powerful and impressive victories over the Vikings and the Panthers in the last two weeks.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, on the other hand, have grown overconfident over the same time period as the media has fallen out of love with the Indianapolis Colts and embraced the AFC’s latest contender.

Only two and a half weeks ago, the defending world champions led the ‘greatest team in NFL history’ by 10 points in the fourth quarter without their number one receiver and starting left tackle. But a loss in the final minutes and a subsequent loss to the Chargers after Adam Vinatieri, in his own crisis of confidence, missed a 29-yard field goal at the end of the game has caused the media to go looking for another challenger to the mighty Patriots.

The Steelers, after an impressive win over the Ravens and an impressive comeback against the Browns, became the fashionable choice to unseat the Colts as the #2 seed in the AFC. Maybe, pundits whispered, this is the team and not the Colts who can beat the Patriots in a cold-weather classic.

Unfortunately for the Steelers, it seems they began to believe their own press clippings. Especially when facing a team with only one win going into Sunday. A team with a full-blown QB controversy magnified under the bright lights of the New York media. But a team come Sunday night, with an overtime victory over the mighty Steelers.

One might think the Jets lucked their way to the 19-16 victory. That the ball bounced their way a few times. But that would be a disservice to the Jets. They manhandled the Steelers, sacking Ben Roethlisberger seven times. Thomas Jones gouged the Steelers defense for 117 yards on the ground, the first 100-yard rusher the Steelers have allowed in 34 games.

And the Steelers still had a chance to win the game, getting the ball first in overtime.

But most NFL games aren’t won on Sundays. The are won during the week. Through a committment to excellence. Through hard work. Through preparation. While much of football is about the skill of the players on the team, if you haven’t studied hard enough, if you didn’t figure out how to get that extra edge, you are setting yourself up for failure in this league.

The Steelers got overconfident and they paid the price. This loss may be the margin of error the Colts need to secure that #2 seed in the AFC. That extra week that the top two seed gets may be just enough time for Marvin Harrison to return to action.

And the media in their rush to crown another challenger forgot that on any given Sunday any NFL team can beat any other NFL team. Perhaps the seeming invincibility of the New England Patriots juggernaut this season has caused the media to forgot that this concept exists every single season without fail.

Suddenly, the high-flying Steelers have three losses on the road against only two wins. Suddenly the Steelers are in a team in crisis, a team that might lack confidence.

Good think for the Steelers their next game is at home against the winless Dolphins.

Of course, if the Steelers manage to lose that one, then we will really be talking about a crisis of confidence.

This was originally published as part of my ‘Fourth and Long’ column from Nov 21, 2007 and can be found in its entirety here.